tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post9168833237986077184..comments2012-01-12T09:12:26.346-08:00JDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17458811153491142975noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-37996338984056631002010-02-04T10:10:32.436-08:002010-02-04T10:10:32.436-08:00This is the realest shit I ever read. Seriously! I think I might have to email this to a few jack asses.... LOL<br /><br />&quot;I just want your actions and your words to match. That&#39;s ALL.&quot; -- A.Smith<br /><br />I so agree and you would think it would be easy for these so-called adults.Sweetzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18203345526905658741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-56511389039897405122010-02-03T19:25:49.110-08:002010-02-03T19:25:49.110-08:00Like OG said, if a man does not sit your ass down and tell you he wants to be in a relationship, do NOT sit your ass down and act like you are one. I learned this shit the hard way last year. Never again. <br /><br />We&#39;ve read it in books, seen it in movies: when a man really wants you, he has no qualms telling you, spending time with you, etc. Regardless of what he&#39;s gone through, he will look/get over that shit because he sees something in you that makes him want to try. <br /><br />When I realised that (we re-realized it because I knew it but was lying to myself) I removed the rose-colored glasses. Now, I date to date. If it goes anywhere, yaaay, if not, no biggie, bc before any type of committment will happen, he will have to bring it up. I will always assume he&#39;s dating someone else if we don&#39;t have that convo but most importantly, I go by that mans actions. He can tell me he&#39;s gonna get me the moon and wrap it in a bow but until he places that sucker in my hand, I take it at face value. And you know what, while I&#39;ve been disappointed in a guy because it was quite obviously he lied about something (and thus ruinned our friendship), I haven&#39;t had my heart broken or been mad.kimkimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15827388305300123173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-37748731238130139062010-02-03T17:03:37.935-08:002010-02-03T17:03:37.935-08:00Miss lady, this blog post hit so many nails on the head my hammer was broken down afterwards. DEFINITELY on point, I know so many people who need to be readin this blog xoxopOokiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14360386906573849350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-54491956001166011222010-02-03T16:44:54.674-08:002010-02-03T16:44:54.674-08:00just what I needed to read today... Thanks gurl&#39;!!! continue to keep it real!!!MzDebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02201851655200580704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-38975681793689656912010-02-03T12:28:14.799-08:002010-02-03T12:28:14.799-08:00The space before dating is still the same in my mind. When things change for a man, he will let you know. Point blank period. I have yet to be in a relationship where a man didn&#39;t let me know he wanted me to be his, when he did. If he doesn&#39;t sit your azz down and be my gal, you should never SIT YOUR AZZ down and stop living life. <br /><br />Keep it moving, dating and all that. If a man wants you like really wants you he will tell you to stop all that. Like my ex-husband tried that subtle sit. And I was like look if a man wants to be with me he needs to tell me. That next beat my ex said, well I want you to be my gal. And I said well I don’t really want a relationship right now (that’s because I really new he wasn’t what I needed but he wore me down laying in the cut. But see it don’t last I’m divorced). <br /><br />I once dated a man who was NOT interested in a relationship (&amp; nor was I). Then one day he stopped our casualness and I noticed and also surmised he had probably met someone he was interested in locking down in a relationship. I was cool w/that because that happens sometimes. However I never fooled myself into thinking I was anything more than someone to kick it with until he found his one &amp; only. <br /><br />I think while flirting/dating you just continue to do that until you aren&#39;t comfy and then based on the where the relationship is you make the decision to leave it or take it. <br /><br />Ok Imma blog about this right now….but I can’t post til I get home cuz I can see my own damn blog. But happy I can see your! <br /><br />-OGOG, The Original Glamazonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17041450250560458185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-64530072725882718022010-02-03T12:25:22.684-08:002010-02-03T12:25:22.684-08:00Great post. Insightful and on point.Ylawdyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257853158431370787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-80554299234349279522010-02-03T11:59:56.031-08:002010-02-03T11:59:56.031-08:00OG, what about the space BEFORE dating though? To me, that space is more undefined than even the dating but not committed phase. This is when you might have spent some time together but you&#39;re not even sure it was a date! That&#39;s how blurry it can be!J Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17458811153491142975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-42197081477329358532010-02-03T11:34:43.947-08:002010-02-03T11:34:43.947-08:00Never make any one a priority that only makes you an option, isn’t that how the saying goes. <br /><br />The problem is, in my opinion, women give too much energy trying to make a man like them enough to settle down in the begining. Some women succeed at this, but often those women have husbands who roam. Really I like a man to be the one to sit me down and be like this is what I want and I listen to whatever it is. To me he ain’t really that worried about you if he doesn&#39;t sit you down and define the relationship (hello CLUE please get one). If he doesn’t tell me there is a relationship then I assume there isn’t one and I continue to behave as single women. My dad always sad when men want something they will let you know. Whatever a man says he wants or doesn’t want you as a woman have the option to day”cool but that’s not what I was looking for.” Then he gets the choice to stay or go based on what you want. This exchange takes honest on the part of all involved. <br /><br />I think the best dating policy in that purgatory of love (the space between dating before commitment) is to STOP IT when you are not happy. I mean I have been involved in casual relationships for years, where it has fit what I needed. It has been safe, non-committal, adult recreation and friendship. Just what my personal &amp; professional life could handle at that time. It was great! Many of us are still friends (platonically). <br /><br />However I have also left relationships where I didn’t feel good because he/I wanted more, at the first sign of those feeling showing up. Sometimes w/o even asking him. (which prob was not cool to do). The minute someone is not giving you what you want out of any friendship (romantic or platonic) you should look into ending it, because staying can really change the whole relationship into something very toxic if you aren’t careful and aware of yourself. Not end it, but know how you feel about that person not being in your world. I always make decisions based on worse case scenarios though (call me doom &amp; gloom).<br /><br />Also for whatever reason I find men are MUCH BETTER at wearing women down into a relationship than vice versa. I have seen far more men laying in the cut playing the friend role eventually becoming not just a woman’s paramour but their serious long term boos or husbands. However I find men will stay in the trenches for women they really dig, well some men. Women doing this with men successfully, not so much. Maybe it’s because men really know how to not be pressed over women (even ones they like) than women do over men. I wonder why men are more successful at the wait out than women, but can’t really come to a solid conclusion on it. <br /><br />GREAT POST! <br /><br />-OGOG, The Original Glamazonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17041450250560458185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-21648025950582172142010-02-03T11:06:33.633-08:002010-02-03T11:06:33.633-08:00Yassss!caligirl714http://www.blogger.com/profile/05245093773542669502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-17675357193445409332010-02-03T11:00:56.227-08:002010-02-03T11:00:56.227-08:00Truth all up and through.<br /><br />One major flaw is our itching to define a relationship (delivered as our expectations) from jump.<br /><br />Soon as a dude says &quot;I&#39;m not looking for a relationship,&quot; I say &quot;We&#39;re not to that part, yet.&quot;<br /><br />My point is, let&#39;s just ride this little train for a second. Cause we could both mess around and change our minds and if we don&#39;t change our minds right, somebody will get hurt. No expectations, just... ride.<br /><br />Having said that, I&#39;m experiencing this same damn problem and I&#39;m about to pull my hair out, because I just want your actions and your words to match. That&#39;s ALL.A.Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542810587986768786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-65884410882273714092010-02-03T10:50:33.198-08:002010-02-03T10:50:33.198-08:00#chuuuchSean Padillahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06180312399568471498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3220552650457343249.post-2860319995008330762010-02-03T10:05:51.650-08:002010-02-03T10:05:51.650-08:00&quot;It is this undefined area that people who have commitment or intimacy issues will try to drag out forever and ever so that they can have the attention of an attractive person of the opposite sex without having the grown up responsibilities that should accompany it.&quot; Can you say this again? People kill me with this one. First time I got thru the fire wall here at the office, but know that I&#39;m a regular. Once again great post!primarythoughtshttp://primarythoughts.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.com