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If you read my blog you know I'm country and proud of it. Southern people are always the subjects of mainstream mockery, northern people say: your music is ignorant, your rappers aren't talented/not real hip hop, your accents are too heavy, and your cities are wack.

On those rare occasions there is an opportunity to see southern peopled honored (which is never), I try to support. So last night I watched the VH1 Hip hop Honors thinking it was about time someone at least pretended to understand the enormous contributions the south has made to music.

The show started off on a strong note with Uncle Luke and Trick Daddy performing one of my favorite rap songs of all time, "Scarred." Scarred is one of those songs that could fall through the cracks if you're not a real dirty south fan. Luke brought out Trick Daddy who performed his entire verse coherently.

The next set, which was also a win, featured "Mind's playing tricks on Me" a tribute to the Geto Boys, one of the greatest hip hop groups of all time.  I learned from twitter that Scarface boycotted the show because he was offended by the south being slighted once again. He felt the show was a way to pacify the south while still confining it to a box. I agree with the first part...but the second part about the south being put into a box is a tough one for me. People are more critical of southern hip hop, it really doesn't matter when or where it's featured. But I do see his larger point, I'm just not sure if it's a solvable issue.

Timbo got some well-deserved...shine.

In addition to the Geto Boyz, AK peformed "Po Pimp," Juvenile did "Nolia Clap" (a pleasant surprise) and Bun B and Drake performed "Get Thowed." Pimp C is one of my top 5 rappers and Drake did a fine job with Pimp's verse.

But the Drake appearance was the beginning of too many non southern faces making cameos. From The Game, to Asher Roth, to Lauren London (what??), Nelly and Fabolous, the rest of the country suddenly took over the one show that belonged to us.

The rest of the sets featured many missteps. During the VA set, Timbaland was clearly sick when he recorded his confessional. Keri Hilson bungled her verse on "The Way You Are." Magoo was no where to be found and neither were The Neptunes or Teddy Riley. Missy did perform and did a fabulous job but the attention was given to Timbo. Odd, because Missy is an independent producer, and songwriter and should have been given EQUAL treatment.

That brings me to the women. Only one other Lady rapper was featured, Trina, and she was dreadfully misused. How dare you have Trick and Trina on the same show and not have them perform "Nan?" Are they beefing or something? There was no sign of Mia X during No Limit's set, and TN wasn't represented at all. So that meant 8 ball and MJG and Three Six Mafia weren't there, much less Gangsta Boo and La Chat. At that point I would have settled for  an appearance byYoung Buck and UTP or even Justin Timberlake! Anybody from TN would have been nice.

Mia X, former member of No Limit and hip hop's Southern Belle.

ATL also got the shaft.  JD get the the most prominent ATL set Organized Noise also got a set but Outkast, Young Bloodz, and the full Goodie Mob Group weren't there. Bone Crusher got shine but Pastor Troy wasn't there and neither was Drama or Lil Scrappy? No sign of Ludacris either. TI gave a half hearted performance, maybe he should have sat this one out. Some old school TI would have been nice. And I'm definitely a lover of The Gucci Mane but he shouldn't have done an ATL set. I was however, impressed with his rendition of  "Miss My Homies."

VH1 also neglected to focus on some of the lesser known people and groups that made an impact. Lots of tweets about Tela, Field Mob, Nappy Roots, Ghost town DJs, 95 south, 69 Boyz. Real dirty south fans were watching and we weren't happy. And the conspicuous absence of Lil Wayne, currently in prison, and the rest of the Hot Boyz (besides Juvenile) left a huge gaping hole in the show.

The VH1 honors catered to the casual male fan of southern hip hop. The dudes that only know southern rap from what's played on the radio but even through their ignorance of the genre are convinced it's all a "gimmick." I think they assumed that doing a real tribute to dirty south hip hop would have gone over most people's heads. As we know, when you do something half-assed you get a half-assed result.

Scarface was right, we all should have boycotted this one.

If only they had a black doll :( Oh to wear something like this everyday!

Both Dixie Carter and Rue McClanahan passed away this year. I was a fan of both ladies and I felt a sense of sadness at the passing of two southern belles I looked up to growing up--well, as much as you can look up to TV characters.

I always wanted to be a southern belle: sophisticated, refined, well-dressed, and welcoming. I've mastered the last two, still working on the first two.

I first learned what it meant for a woman to have class and taste at church. Every Sunday my paternal grandmother, who was quite the belle herself (but not as conscious of it as some of her friends), would pick me up and cart me to the Baptist church not 3 miles from our house. I would sit beside her in the pew watching all the women and their fancy hats and well-made suits.


Although the black church gets a lot of attention for being flashy, the women who attended my church were elegant and gracious. I remember thinking even as a little girl that some day I would grow up to be one of those women. A woman who tended to her husband and children, baked pies for the church and neighbors, and was an example of how to be a lady at all times.

Back then I played a belle on Sundays. I was tomboy Monday-Saturday, but on Sundays I put on my slip, dress suits (that my momma would make from JC Penny patterns), mary janes, and purple velvet and wool church coat (or rabbit fur jacket and muffs depending on my mood).

Eventually, I grew up to be a slightly-less-edgy slightly-more-bellelish version of my mother. My mom is the sweetest person you'll ever meet, but not one to go out of her way to know everyone, and certainly not someone concerned with "behaving appropriately." My mom, who sold her motorcycle to her brother after she got married, loves to recount the story of the time she was a teenager riding in the car with her Aunt True.

Photo courtesey of Open.Salon.com This woman reminds me of the many women who attended my church growing up.

My memories of True were mostly of her being critical and mean to my mother. She could be cold, but loved to play the injured belle when convenient. She was rarely disrespected by anyone close to her. That day, my mother uttered one of her famous curse words in Aunt True's presence. Aunt True said: "That is NOT ladylike!" To which my mother responded, "Who said I was a fucking lady?"

Both of my grandmothers passed away before I entered high school. I remember looking through my maternal grandmother's suit closet in awe. I claimed all the ones that would fit as my own. I even took her size 7.5 heels, and thus begin my shoe addiction. I still have some of them. A classy woman's wardrobe never really goes out of style.

Despite all that, still I faltered. I can't help but think that somewhere between absorbing my mom's subconscious rebellion against meekness and finding not a lot of use for femininity around my hometown neighborhood, I lost my belle in the wind of Virginia's sweaty summers. Somehow I became less Julia Sugarbaker and more Mary Jo Shiveley.

I never got my belle back. But I never stopped looking up to those types of women.

My favorite Television southern belle. Classy, elegant, gracious and sharp as a tack.

Dixie Carter. who played Julia Sugarbaker on Designing Women was my favorite southern belle. I remember watching DW and attempting to memorize every detail of Julie's suits and mannerisms. I remember thinking THAT'S what a woman should be like.

McClanahan,  most well-known for playing Blanche Devereaux on Golden Girls (which aired about the same years as Designing Women), the hot and bothered proud southern woman, was a transformative figure as it pertains southern belle tv portrayals. This wasn't a southern damsel in distress (see: Delta Burke as Suzanne Sugarbaker) or the woman who was southern as an after-thought (see: Annie Potts as Mary Jo Shively).

A southern belle should be welcoming and full of life.

Southern women on television were typically in films about slavery or shown infrequently as dainty and conniving post-slavery white women [good luck finding many black southern belles in entertainment]. Devereaux's character, however, combined the southern belle's dignity with the modern girls' pursuit of sexual freedom. Somehow McClanahan's character achieved balance without contradiction.

I should be so lucky. I suppose it's not too late to hitch my horse back up to my southern belle dreams. Over the years, I've learned to be proud of my accent and give in to my sensitivity when necessary. I've cleaned up my wardrobe tremendously and I am quite the gracious host(ess).

I guess all hope isn't lost. Otherwise I'll have to stop aspiring to be a southern belle and settle for just being a southern girl. Still something to be proud of.