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Prediction: BET Will Piss Off Fans of Michael Jackson and Prince

Thursday, June 24, 2010 , Posted by JD at 9:16 PM

Just in case you've been hiding under one of Rick Ross's Rozay's man mounds for the past week, I will tell you that today is the anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. *pours out some Jesus juice*

I'm not going to get into how much I love Michael Jackson because, for some reason, ever since he died, it seems that people are in some sort of strange competition over who loved Jackson the most while he was still alive. As someone who told my mom that I was going to marry Michael Jackson and cried when she said, "By the time you're old enough to marry him, he'll be dead," I'm not interested in playing that game. 

Plus, unless you're one of those people who showed up every day of his trial to greet him as he entered court but weren't able to because you fainted and had to be rushed to the hospital OR you flew to LA upon hearing of his death and performed Thriller with a bunch of other mental cases fans in the middle of the street, your love really ain't all that true now is it?

To sum it up: 

You love Michael, I love Michael, we all love Michael. 

While I'm here:

You hate BET, I hate BET, we all hate BET.

But unfortunately, BET will, on Sunday, endeavor to pay tribute to Michael Jackson (again) and Prince (Argh!). Jackson's tribute, I assume, is not only a result of the anniversary of his death, but also spurred by the fact that BET so terribly embarrassed itself with the dreadful tribute it paid last year just a few days after Jackson died.

If you missed that God awful show, let me give you the highlights: Michael Jackson dies, BET announces they will pay tribute so that we all will watch their already-planned awards show, we all watch, the show opens with The Fat Boys New Edition doing their impression, I mean, rendition of The Jackson 5 (senior cocaine addict edition), Neyo performs 10 times (I rounded up from 9) doing various songs that I cannot remember, Ciara performs once (including that one time she shouldn't have performed AT ALL), Keri Hilson also performed--and I use the word "perform" VERY loosely--somehow confusing Michael Jackson with Elvis Presley (must have been the nose), and Jamie Foxx made an appearance that I barely remember but I am 100% sure was totally unnecessary. After the show ended somehow Chris Brown became the focal point because, you know, there was no way to honor Michael Jackson successfully without handing Rihanna's whack-a-mole partner a get-out-of-jail free card and a rhinestone glove.  

I maintain that BET should have put together a somber slide show akin to the ones the Oscars put together for dead actors, and followed it by showing a complete classic Michael Jackson performance and ended with someone who could REALLY SING performing a song (not necessarily by Michael Jackson) in dedication to him. BET could have, a few weeks later, interrupted it's regular programming (*snickers*) to have a real tribute. But knowing them they would have still botched it. So this paragraph is really neither here nor there or at Neverland Ranch.

Moving on. 

Only God knows what BET will put together on Sunday, but JD knows she ain't interested.

Prince will receive the lifetime achievement award, and if I know Prince like I think I do (which is somewhat but not really at all) he was PISSED when he found out that BET was going to fuck him over honor him. Actually, the reason I know he was pissed is because right after he was told about the tribute I heard him scream WHY ME LAWWWWWWD, a shriek that travelled all the way from his mansion in Minneapolis to my tiny Barracks Row townhouse in Washington DC. Quite frankly, I'm not too happy my damn self. WHY YOU LAWWWWD, I screamed back at Prince Rogers Nelson.

Growing up there were 4 artists who truly inspired me: Michael Jackson, Prince, Terence Trent D'arby, and Billy Ocean.


And I'll be damned if I sit idly by while BET uses my affection for any one of the four in order to drum up ratings for their silly ass network. A few years back Michael Jackson said fuck all these awards shows I'mma organize my own tribute to MYSELF. And he did. And out marched a cadre of talented but ill-equipped people who performed his songs as he clapped with the joy of a 3 year old eating an ice cream sandwhich: Usher, Jill Scott, Mya (remember her? no? okay), Whitney Houston's remaining body, and Beyonce's jelly and its background dancers Michelle and Kelly to name a few.

The show was a train wreck. But Michael was happy and that's all that mattered.

But Prince isn't Michael Jackson. Oh no no no no. Prince isn't in it just for the attention (yeah I said it, Michael Jackson liked attention at all costs. Don't believe me? Have you ever seen Prince dangle any of his jump offs off the side of a balcony? I didn't think so!). Prince isn't just a sexy M.F. like his song says, he's a classy one too. And none of the artists that would be down enough on their luck to perform at the BET awards are worthy of singing a Prince song much less actually trying to "perform" it in front of him.

Prince isn't just an entertainer, he's a composer, a talented writer, an instrumentalist, and all around musician. He's a private man that still likes to perform at small venues and only does interviews...well...never. When you honor someone like Prince, you have to think outside of the box. You don't just go grab the nearest black people you can find. You don't just call Trey Songz and Beyonce and let them loose on stage. That's like putting an AMG body kit on a Mercedes that doesn't have an AMG engine...sure, people do it. But they're assholes! 

I can only pray that BET didn't reach for the usual suspects. On twitter people threw around names from Lenny Kravitz to Van Hunt to Maxwell. Let's hope BET considered them as well. I think that Prince's tribute might be cause to call in a few of our cream colored friends. That's what the Grammy's did when it was time to honor James Brown. Christina Aguilera was their choice to be exact. Now we don't know who all BET has chosen, but this is a perfect time to form a prayer circle and hope for the best. 

I personally don't like the idea of honoring Prince on Sunday. If BET wants to honor someone of Prince's stature, which, by the way, in many ways he's the only one of his particular stature, he should get his own special. He shouldn't be forced to have the first tribute to him occur during BET's routine ratchet recognition show. Nor should his tribute have to compete with the memory of one of the few artists of his time that is more famous than himself. 

So in actuality, this is not really a prediction because, as a fan of both artists, I'm already pissed off. So really BET has nothing to lose. So tribute away you incompetent jerks! **I won't be watching. 

**By "I won't be watching" I mean I will be reading tweets and then when the Prince tribute begins, I will quickly turn on my TV and begin to bash everything that BET does declaring everyone who works for the network unworthy of washing Prince's dirty drawers much less touching his raspberry beret. On the off chance that they actually do a good job honoring know what, there's no need to finish that sentence. 

Currently have 14 comments:

  1. Daij says:

    I agree with EVERY SINGLE WORD in this blog entry! You're funny as well as serious!

  1. A.Smith says:

    a: Ain't nobody love Michael like Paris Jackson ANYDAMNWAY so we all might as well saddown on that sh*t.

    b: I'm just pissed BET won't let it die. You messed up the MJ tribute. You just did. And if you mess the do-over up (as you're liable to do) then I will HAVE to boycott you forever and real talk, I hate BET, but I like making fun of it... and I can't do that if I'm boycotting. So in sum, if BET effs this up (and they will) I won't be able to do things I like to do and that will upset me.

    c: Now, I'm no Prince fan. I know, I know, carry me to the stake. But I know a musical genius when I hear one and he's a musical genius. They can mess this tribute up too, but I think Prince fans will riot in the streets and burn sh*t. No, seriously. If that happens, BET did it to themselves.

    d: C'mon, you HAVE to watch this trainwreck real time with the rest of it. I want my timeline to be on fire and how's it gonna be on fire if you're not there? That's right. It won't. ::blink,blink::

  1. JD says:

    @ Daij Thanks!!

    @A.Smith lmao @ Paris Jackson. BASICALLY! As someone who used to get teased by my family and friends every time I talked about Michael Jackson (which was all the time during my middle school years--I went through a ridiculous MJ phase/obsession after Jodeci fell off the map) its nice to hear people love on him but damn! It's not a competition folks.

    I do think Prince fans are a bit more serious than MJ fans in terms of expectations, plus we're used to people butchering MJ songs.

    And ugh @ you being the first person to scold me for not watching the awards. When I wrote that line I knew that at least 5 ppl would cuss me out for not tweeting the awards. smh! lol

  1. This was brilliantly funny!

    I agree that BET will of course NOT do the tribute as we the fans would like to see it. The only way I will be pleased w/this tribute is if they bring out the artists Prince has written songs for OR given permission to cover his songs.

    Like Sinead O'Conner (not happening) or Cyndi Lauper (good luck getting her) and I think TLC covered his song once as did Chaka Kahn (yes, no? or am I smoking crack?).

    I need to see Maceo Parker up there on that stage, Wendy & Lisa, The Time, Sheila E., Sheena Easton- all these mofos need to be up there or this tribute will be wacktacular.

    And I understand that Prince, being the musical genius that he is, loves collaborating with others and giving new acts a chance, etc, but I'm telling you RIGHT NOW- if any one of those Young Money fools come anywhere NEAR Prince's tribute there will be consequences and repercussions straight outta Brooklyn!!!

  1. Courtney says:

    What did I say on Twiitter? I said, "If they mess this up, I will personally burn down BET HQ".

    *goes to Google address*

    That's really all I have to say about that!

    *thinks thoughtfully*

    I'm lying! BET has got to be the developmentally challenged cousin that the rest of the networks keeps locked away in the attic OR that thing that is locked in the basement that we all hope dies but it won't because it thrives on the broken dreams and disappointment of viewers who tune in once a year! I hate BET! I would like to offer them the chance to "do right" by these artists (whom I love) BUT I know it won't happen. And on Sunday, I will tune it. I will cry. I will ask, "Why must I torture myself like this?" I will find my GoogleMaps directions. I will drive/walk/take a train/hitch a ride on a wagon...whatever I have to do to let them know my complete and utter disgust (read: I'll just write a letter)!

    Let me go watch Vh1 and pray they show MJ videos all day.

    I just hate BET. =/

  1. mandab says:

    EBT, Blacks Embarrassing Themselves is only equipped to do a tribute to the likes of Boosie, Webbie, and those boys teaching us how to dougie. After that spectacle last year with them munking up MJ'S tribute and them LITTLE girls dancing to Lil Wayne. Naw, EBT can have five years and they still will find a way to mess up a MJ tribute. You can't have crack addicts giving tribute to a king. That's like saying Lil Wayne is the next Obama. Makes no sense does it.

  1. hazysin says:

    for this post...I LOVE YOU (well, not as much as i love Michael Jackson--but the my name aint Paris Jackson either).

    I watched that travesty of a tribute last year......breaking my 4 year boycott of BET only to have my heart shattered to piece while trying to console my traumatized seven year old son.....

    See we were MJ fanatics before he died and EVERYDAY Khalil(my son) plays Michael Jackson music all day long. He damn near had a heart attack where Ciara (WHY BET,WHY?)got on stage. We will not be pimped for rating this year.


  1. ShugAveryPee says:

    Miss Jackson, since I'm nasty, it is a given that BET is going to fuck Prince over. Expect the main part of the tribute to be Ciara coming out in a purple jumpsuit with the ass cheeks out in some six inch heels grabbing her nuts.

    Debra Lee is endorsing all of this foolishness, and I don't want to even speak about last years awards show. I'm sure Michael Jackson rolled over in his grave and let out a loud fart from his corpse to let BET know how much he appreciated the fuck shit that they did.

    The problem with BET is that the ones who create the theme of the Awards show don't have a central theme. They're everywhere, and they care more about the profile and popularity of the artist moreso than the actual talent (Ciara belting in her mezzo crowprano "Away in the Manger," for example).

    Let's just hope that Prince doesn't fly in on the stage butt naked, hanging from strings, doing his songs justice, as having Tameka Cottle and Toya Carter rap-singing When Doves Cry will be the cherry on the sundae.

    Great blog post Miss Jackson, since I'm nasty. Very funny.

  1. JD says:

    @Jaded Nyer I like that idea! Having people that he's written for perform. I really hope they do bring out the NPG. That'd be great to see.

    @courtney warm the car up cause you know it's gonna happen!

    @mandab lmaoo I had totally forgotten about the kids dancing on stage with Wayne...although he did say his daughter begged and he didn't want to say no.

  1. rorysmomma says:

    BET better come correct, because Prince will tell them they are not shit, buy his actions, his demeanors, and possibly even verbally. I will tune in, and life tweet. That is if we don't shut twitter down.

  1. kimkim says:

    Whack-a-mole? Really?! *dies*

    This was HILARIOUS!!!

    I was thoroughly disappointed in BET's "tribute" last year. I understand wanting to add something but it was complete and utter bullshit. I forgot that Ciara even performed! Smh, if they don't butcher this one, I'll be surprised.

    But I do hope that Breezy at least performs this time around. My lust for his little ass has returned and I'd like to see him dance, preferably with no shirt!

    *scratchng my head about the Prince tribute. No words for that right now*

  1. Margaret says:

    The Prince tribute at the EBT awards on BET will follow the normal scenario: people will sing, drop the F bomb that the finger-on-the-buzzer dude will be too slow to catch, and Debra Lee will have the look of constipation on her face....FUN TIMES!!
    I really do hope the Prince tribute is good, but I'm not holding my breath.
    About MJ...BET will NEVER get another chance to do it right the first time. They dropped the ball on this one. If they were smart, they'd use the next 4 years to get the 5th anniversary of his death a proper celebration, but like most black folks, they will wait until the last minute and screw that up, too.
    I need a drinking game for the EBT Awards!!

  1. LaToya says:
    This post has been removed by the author.
  1. Sunshyne says:

    They should've had Tevin Campbell do Shhh, TLC do If I Was your Girlfriend, Ginuwine do When Doves Cry and Mariah Carey & Dru Hill do The Beautiful Ones. Then they all could've done Let's Go Crazy.