(Wo)MAN vs. Mouse: Let the Best Beast Win!
So yesterday evening as I was diligently packing a 400 calorie lunch (it takes about 45 seconds), I almost caught a heart attack and an animal cruelty case! A mouse scurried from behind my dog's bed and ran into my coat closet--a closet I refuse to ever open again.
I'm not afraid of mice. However, they are filthy and I don't want it touching me or anything that belongs to my child!! They are creepy with all their scurrying around and dipping and dodging. I'm sayin doe, why you runnin fa?
I can't deal! This is why I need a husband. I have a whole long list of things I need my not-yet-met mate to do. Number 3 on the list is kill shit. Numbers 1 and 2 are too explicit to discuss. You can see killing shit is top priority for me.
I ran out today after work and got glue traps. Glue traps are better than regular mouse traps because this way, when you catch the mouse he's still alive to kill. When I catch him and beat him I might even let him live so he can run back and tell all the homies that I DON'T PLAY THAT SHIT MY HOUSE.
Anyhoo, I am also calling an exterminator because judging by the scratching and bumping noises I hear there must be some sort of hole in my raggedy attic (it's not my house so I don't mind calling it as it is). In the meantime, I keep having random daymares of a mouse trying to tickle my feet in my sleep. I'm in my bedroom right now with my door shut like somebody lives downstairs. ugh
Simply put, there's only room for 2 beasts in this house in southeast. Me and my dog. This random squatter is not welcome.
January 13, 2010 5:05 PM
You think a mouse is bad?! Our roof was damaged a couple years back right after my father passed and a family of goddamn raccoons moved in! Scurrying around and shit. My mother was calling for my daddy. This is really what we need men for. Lol!!
January 13, 2010 6:31 PM
RACOONS? oh hell naw! Now, truth be told, my family in VA would probably like that. They eat racoons. ew ew ew ew
January 15, 2010 6:16 AM
OMG! OMG! OMG! That's why I have actual homeboys. I can't stand it, when you said, "tickling my feet" gave me goosebumps on my arms....
January 18, 2010 5:03 PM
lmaooo @ #3 is kill shit