Logo

I remember years ago when I first heard of HIV, it was before I became sexually active myself. I vowed that I would never have sex with anyone unless we both got tested first and I saw definitive paperwork saying they were free from any diseases, including the virus that causes AIDS. I was afraid. I knew you that you can’t tell someone’s disease status by looking. I didn’t think any man was worth a death sentence.

Needless to say I have never stuck made good on that promise. I haven’t slept with very many people (I can still count my sexual partners on one hand); however, when it comes to the transmission of disease through sexual contact, it really doesn’t matter how many people you’ve slept with because it only takes one encounter to get something of which you cannot rid yourself. I won’t lie, it continues to amaze me that someone who looks healthy and normal can carry a disease so hateful and cruel and…deathly.

While pursuing my bachelor’s degree at Temple University, I took a course called “AIDS in Society” over winter break. I thought it would be an easy A to get because I was already fairly educated about the disease.

I was wrong.

I learned so much.

I learned that the messages that have been promoted to people who already have HIV to encourage them to choose life with the disease rather than give up on treatments and embrace the death sentence the disease once was, have actually made a lot of people (with the disease and without) more complacent. See, if HIV/AIDS is no longer a death sentence, why worry so much?

I learned that HIV is a disease, AIDs is a diagnoses made after your cell count dips below a certain level. There are plenty of people who have been diagnosed with AIDS who are healthier than people who have HIV.

I learned that although HIV/AIDS is no longer a death sentence, it is a LIFE sentence. Every meal, every pill, every outing, every trip…everything you do in life will have to be planned. Drugs must be taken on time or risk their efficacy. HIV destroys immunity, you will be susceptible to dying from complications e.g. pneumonia, influenza etc.

I learned that people with HIV often think that they can have unprotected sex with other people who have the disease without consequences but in reality you can pass on immunities and next thing you know none of the drugs are working for either of you.

I learned that we are all a few degrees of separation from the primary pathways by which HIV/AIDs is spread: heterosexual sex, sex between male prisoners, drug addicts. It all counts, we are all at risk.

I learned that we all know someone who has HIV/AIDS and we’re unaware of their status simply because, again, you can’t tell by looking.

Unfortunately, we still live in a day an age where we don’t fully grasp anything until it impacts us personally. How many people turn a blind eye to the importance of cancer research until their mother or aunt gets the disease? When they see their loved one’s hair begin to fall out, or skin start to pale, or notice the glimmer that once in their eye has perished. Then they start walking for the cure. Then they start donating money. Then they become aware.

So often, we don’t really begin to care until someone we care about has to care. And by then it’s too late. But HIV/AIDs isn’t cancer. It’s predictable as the day is long. It’s as preventable disease as we could ever hope for. It’s one of the few things in which you PERSONAL actions actually can make a difference. But we still don’t take it as seriously as we might because you can’t tell by looking.

World AIDS day is a day like many other days in which we wear ribbons and start conversations that never seem to reach a resolution. I keep reading articles that state that money has been wasted on HIV/AIDs programs in areas with high HIV rates like Washington DC. People still think that gay, bisexual, or closeted men are the main issue with these disease…some still believe they’re the only ones who get it. Some are still too busy debating the origin of HIV/AIDs, blaming the government, discussing conspiracy theories that no matter the origin do not negate the prevention advice we’ve been provided.

So if you’re wondering why this disease continues to spread and has now become the leading cause of death for black women in my age group (25-34 yrs old), the answer is easy. Everyone is still in denial, that’s the one thing you CAN tell just by looking.